If You Are Going to Be Observant...

While swallowing tortilla chips and bean dip whole, reveling in carbs as I have not done for a while, I notice someone. Naturally, I cannot put my finger on this familiar face, but I keep an eye on it. My sister and I continue to chat at the table, trying to hear each other over the roar of the busy lunch crowd.
Suddenly, it comes to me. "Kristen, that is that dude." She's confused, no idea who I am talking about, and rightfully so. "The guy who text you a couple of weeks ago." I could see that she had mixed feelings, between, how funny is this, and crap, really.

During a night out with a friend, a guy (by guy I mean kid) asked for my phone number; besides looking as if he may not have hit puberty just yet, I have a ball and chain that makes me happy and I would like to keep it that way. Before giving him the "absolutely not" face that I like to use, I find myself spitting out my little sisters phone number. My friend was concerned until I told her what I did, and later, my mother also found it to her amusement. My sister only just asked me about it and I found out that she had actually received a text from him. HILARIOUS. She took it quite well.

Luckily for us, the doublemint twins sit down and block the table between us, and neither of us have to feel awkward. I guess it is pretty obvious at this point that I am people  watching and informing Kristen of everything I see. I am pretty sure the people next to us can hear me talking and think I am a total tool. I honestly was having a field day being in this restaurant. The doublemint twins are wearing matching black slacks, white collared Polo's, black croakies and sunglasses, and seem to have synchronized their every movement as well. Both of them get up and sashay over to the salsa bar as if doing the waltz. We both try not to laugh aloud. Their outfits bring up another conversation about people who dress alike. Ever seen the guys walking down the street in black pants, white shirts, and black ties? They are usually on foot or with a bike. We want to know what it is they do. "I always thought they were peddling someones gospel.You know, like the people who come and knock on your door?" Kristen assures me that, no, they sell bikes. This makes us both laugh. We come to the conclusion that they are those poor kids who get sucked into marketing ads on craigslist for positions with competitive compensation and commission based opportunities with benefits. I tell her, "little did they know when it said, transportation allowance, it meant two wheels."

As I move along I notice Dr. Phil in the corner. This is, of course, the name I have given him. "You know, I really would not want to accompany a coworker to lunch if we were required to wear the same clothes. I am really glad we don't have uniforms at the office." Kristen agrees. About that time the twins food arrives and who would have guessed it, its exactly the same. Both of our eyes get big, and we exchange a look that says, "come on guys, really?? It's getting a little creepy." I continue to scan the room when a voice overhead gives a loud, whisper sort of sound, "Ladies?" It was the cue from our server that he was ready to flip the table. We ask for the check and he walks away, eighteen different plates up and down his arms. As soon as he moves from my vision I see two guys at the table to the left of me. "Wait, Kristen...apparently my peripheral is not helping me out here. I really hope they did not hear what I said." There sit two guys in matching striped shirts, that are very obviously from the same company. Way to go, Kassie. Let's try and offend everyone within listening distance.  I turn to Kristen, "Wow, if you are going to be observant, BE OBSERVANT."